thrifty me not

It’s always amazing how I’ll only want to write when my head is full of thoughts. To me, it’s the only way to pen what I’m going through at certain junctures in my life. Junctures which will inevitably shape the future. Junctures that will eventually define who I am and the purpose of my existence.

Life for us as a family in Singapore is good. Whatever we wanted, we had. Never did we lack. Just that I was taught from young pure Asian values. Respect your elders and be as thrifty where can be so as to save for rainy days. On reflection, perhaps I am slowly deviating away from the latter value now that I am in uk and am managing my own finances.

I’ve had the privilege of studying overseas. Something only offered to either the smart who go on scholarships or the rich, who have the capability to pay for an alternative education. I am neither. My mum is a housewife who has not worked since I was born and my dad is a building manager, drawing a very humbling salary. Even I got a shock when I saw his pay cheque. My dad has never owned a Mercedes nor has he don a rolex watch. In fact, I vividly remember when I was kindergarten right up to secondary school, he would place my breakfast in a big plastic bag, similar to the one you get at Changi Airport’s duty free store. Those plastic bags were probably made of much better material compared to the ones they give out at NTUC and it really lasted him through all the years.

A plastic bag to bring to work. He could have bought himself a decent bag for 20 dollars to put his work stuff but no. No he did not. He did not because he knew how much 20 dollars could buy and how it could be used to feed the family even for just 1 meal. He did not because he knew money was difficult to earn and did not see why he should splurge on something so needless when he had an alternative, albeit inconvenient. He did not because he cared for the family more than he cared for himself. Say as they might, he was not afraid about what people might say about him for he believed in something much greater: the idea of others before self. A simple word of self-sacrifice.

Whilst I recognize the need to be thrifty, I am also grappling with the fact that I interact with the rich who are much more well-off than me. There is a constant pressure to spend on luxurious things just so that I am within their league. Yes, it sounds stupid. Daft some may call it that I don’t quite have a ‘back-bone’ to say no where it matters but such is the degree of difficulty that sometimes it is hard to reject going out just so that you are not forgotten and left aside. It is here that I always think of what my dad had to go through when he was younger to put me in the position I now am at.

He disregarded what people said about the plastic bag he carried to work. He blocked out what he perceived to be something so against his own values. He knew his objective and his purpose of carrying that plastic bag. He knew why he did it for. If he could do it, why can’t I?

I question my ability to cut corners where it matters and I know deep down that I am capable of doing it. It simply boils down to my own mentality and what I tell myself. Yes, it is difficult but if my father can do and have done it, there is no reason why I should do otherwise. Granada, Spain @ 4.16am, 11 April 2011.